Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Anne Hodder-Shipp

Episode 80

A conversation with Anne Hodder-Shipp


56 min. Recorded on 20 April 2022. 

Anne’s pronouns are she/they, and she is a queer femme. They’re also neurodivergent with a recent ADHD diagnosis. She doesn’t have language that totally feels right, but says that sometimes agender, non-binary, and demigirl work. Find out what that means to Anne in this episode.

We also talk about not having a sense of belonging, feeling safe in your skin, self-soothing and meeting yourself where you’re at, upholding meaning over language at all cost, how the gender binary is weaponised, that a new awareness of reality is often accompanied by a mourning process, looking at love languages through a different lens, and reframing the concepts of love, touch, and relationships.

“[gender is] very much this etherial intangible thing you can’t hold, which makes it very hard for some people to grasp and understand and respect…because it’s just this floaty concept filled with emotions and ideas. I like to flip that on its head…well if it’s so intangible and individual and subjective and full of feeling and ideas and that’s it, what power does it ultimately have?”

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TRANSCRIPT [expand to read] – COMING SOON

About Anne

Anne Hodder-Shipp, CSE, ACS, (she/they) is a multi-certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, empowered, compassionate, and expansive sex education. They are the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, a sex ed and professional development organization, and she works with people and couples of almost any age to help build skills, knowledge, and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and communication.

Anne’s journalism and sociology background inspired a unique perspective of the public eye, which led them to work as a journalist, editor and blogger covering the business of pleasure and the latest in human sexuality research. After readers reached out with vulnerable sex questions, Anne recognized a genuine passion for being of service, and they decided to train professionally as a sex educator. Anne received their first certification and endorsement by the renowned San Francisco Sex Information program and continued their training via the American College of Sexologists International and Planned Parenthood Los Angeles’s School Based Sex Education Program, where they honed a special skill for working with adolescents. Anne is currently completing ANTE UP!’s justice-centered education certification and was recently certified through the renowned Kinsey Institute’s Human Sexuality Intensive.

In addition to running EDSE and their private practice, Anne leads treatment groups for clients recovering from substance use disorder, eating disorders, compulsive sexual behavior and other stigmatized illnesses. Anne also is the founder of Hodder Media Inc., the first sex-positive PR and marketing firm to specialize in sex toys and adult industry brands, the co-founder of S3X Plus, and is the author of the groundbreaking expansive love language guide, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love.

You can find Anne on their website and, and on Instagram @theannehodder and @every1deservessexed.

What we discussed & useful links

Cover of 'Speaking From The Heart: 18 Languages For Modern Love' by Anne Hodder-Shipp
Speaking From The Heart: 18 Languages For Modern Love by Anne Hodder-Shipp

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